Sleep Talking

My sleep-talking has gone to a whole new level. It's one thing for a person, say Natalie, to call me in the middle of the night, wake me up, and engage me in a conversation (this happened Sunday night). But for me to make a phone call, at night, while asleep, is something else entirely.

But it happened. All day yesterday I was having this odd feeling that I had talked to Nancy the night before, but wasn't sure. So when I got home last night, I called her.

Me: Did I call you last night?
Nancy: You sure did, and it was hilarious.

It was 11:30. I had been asleep almost two hours. Apparently I was very concerned that I would not hear my alarm in the morning, so I somehow managed to dial my parents' number (not even using speed-dial) and, while sleeping, had the following conversation with Nancy.

Me: I've been having trouble getting up to my alarm this week and I need someone to call me in the morning to wake me up.
Nancy: Okay... what time do you want us to call you?
Me: (prolonged whine) I don't know!
Nancy: Just tell me when to call you.
Me: I don't know. I'm half asleep, okay??

And then I hung up. So if you ever get a phone call from me at odd hours, chances are I'll be asleep.

This, and yet somehow, clinically, I'm not crazy. My friends Charlotte and Tabitha are in school to receive their Masters in counseling, and needed some guinea pigs. So Charlotte analyzed Beth and Tabitha lucked out with me, a case book in crazy. I had to take one of those 500-question tests that, when analyzed, can determine all sorts of neuroses. I was excited. Finally, an explanation. So Sunday night I took my pencil and the answer sheet and within an hour I answered all the questions. Honestly. I gave my answer sheet to Tabitha on Monday night. "Have fun," I said. "I'm sure there's all sorts of crazy in there!"

But at life group last night, Tabitha said she had bad news for me. "You're normal. You're not crazy at all." In fact, I'm apparently more normal than Tabitha, Charlotte and Beth, at least according to this test. "That can't be!" I yelled. "How is that possible?"

So, I'm not crazy. I just have a tendency to call people in my sleep. Whatever.