In Need of a Good Cry

I have been on the verge of tears for several days now, but they haven't come. I've been in this melancholy sort of mood and I just feel this need to have a good, loud, puffy-eyed kind of cry. I can't remember the last time I let it all out. I got a little sniffly at Faithwalkers, but that's about it. That hardly constitutes a good, solid sob fest. I guess it's good that I can't remember- a true sign of the shedding of this depression- but I don't want to be so solid that there's no room for the Spirit to break me a little bit every now and then, either.

I've just been sad about some things in my life as of late, things I won't go into because they're a little too close to my heart. It's not the depressed, angry sort of sad I've been accustomed to over these past years... it's just sad. That's all there is to it. I just have a case of the blues. And I just want to cry them out. I even stayed in on Saturday night, just because I was in a mopey sort of mood and didn't feel like being social. I should've watched some incredibly sad movie that would've triggered a waterfall of emotion, but instead I started Season 1 of Friday Night Lights and swooned over my TV boyfriend, Kyle Chandler. And though that did not solicit any tears, it was a mighty fine way to spend an evening.

Last night we had people over to watch the Super Bowl, and that was as fun as it could be considering that I have no interest in football whatsoever. It was fun to have everyone over, but I was tired and just sort of out of it, not too mention a little sick to my tummy because of all the junk food I'd consumed over the course of the weekend. When I went to bed after all was said and done, I was certain that I was just tired and messy enough that the tears would start rolling. I put on some melancholy music and cuddled up under my covers... and promptly fell asleep.

Oh well. I'm sure it will all come out soon enough. That's just part of having the blues.