Just call me Josie Geller

Once upon a time, I volunteered to help with the Nebraska State Thespian Conference in Papillion. A Lincoln theater teacher on the Nebraskans for the Arts board, Patsy, is involved in this conference, and when she told us about it at a meeting, a wave of nostalgia passed over me, accompanied by a desperate desire to get involved with theater again somehow. So I told her I'd like to help out. She said she'd sign me up. And today was the day.

The conference started yesterday, but because of work meetings in Lincoln, I couldn't participate. So I walked into everything mid-way through, which was slightly awkward. But in a day full of awkwardness, that's hardly worth mentioning (and yet I did).

Now, keep in mind that I'm going into this thinking that I'm going to volunteer, that I will be helpful. Not having been to one of these before, I had no idea what that would entail. I got there at 8:00, like I was instructed. Patsy wasn't there. I didn't want to go into any of the performance rooms because I didn't want to miss Patsy and therefore miss my volunteer post. So the first hour of my morning was spent standing out in the hallway, feeling rather awkward. The saving grace of the morning came in the package of Andrea and Elizabeth Dunn, Michaela's little sisters. Running into them at least gave me someone to talk to.

Because of the snow, Patsy didn't get there until almost 9:00, at which point I quickly found out I wasn't there so much to work, but to observe and have fun. The problem was that there weren't many people there in that kind of role. There were the teachers, the high schoolers, a few volunteers, and a small group of parents. And me. The next hour of the morning was spent in the teacher's lounge with Patsy. Then I watched some improv groups. Then lunch in the teacher's lounge. It was all fine, but I couldn't help but feel out of place. Then the real fun began: workshops.

The problem here is that the teachers were teaching the workshops and the students were attending, and then there was me. So I looked at the list and decided to "sit in" on a couple. But as I did so I realized something very true and somewhat unsettling: No one noticed that I felt out of place because no one realized that I was. I look like a high schooler! The first session I went to had to do with writing. It was a small group. I sat in the back so the teacher wouldn't notice me. We had to do a writing exercise. I sat there and thought, "I have a degree in Creative Writing for crying out loud! I don't want to overachieve and make the students feel badly!" The teacher did notice me, and she read my writing out loud. And it was no better and no worse than anyone else's. I was almost disappointed...

Then I went to a theater workshop, which Patsy was teaching. It was very active and hands-on and made me miss theater days. But again: I didn't stand out at all. No one caught on. We had to partner up and I felt obligated to tell the first kid that I wasn't in high school. I think he was confused. So with my next partner, I didn't volunteer that information. But then he looked at my name tag, and it said I was from Lincoln High School (where Patsy teaches), and he asks, "You go to Lincoln High?" Actually...

It was bizarre. I wanted to yell, "I'm between six to ten years older than every one of you!" I felt like Josie Geller, Drew Barrymore's character in my favorite movie, Never Been Kissed, except there was no hot English (or in this case Drama) teacher there for me to hook up with. Man, wouldn't that have been a great story?