Surprises

Today marked the kickoff for the (downtown) Omaha Lit Fest. Poets were performing at the downtown library all day, and after lunch I went to hear two local poets I've become familiar with since moving here, Sarah McKinstry-Brown and Matt Mason. It was the middle of the day, and we were nestled in the corner on the main floor of the library, me and a handful of other listeners. And as Sarah and Matt (I can use their first names because I've met them) spoke their fierce and gentle words, library patrons were sitting at computers nearby, playing solitaire and mumbling on cell phones. The whole scene made me a little sad. Here these hapless bystanders were hearing this couple tell their tales of marriage and parenthood and art and religion and bumper stickers and geography and kiwi, but they never stopped to actually listen. They never stopped to let the words strike their heart. They never stopped to laugh at the ridiculous or to ponder the profound. They just kept clicking their mice, heeding scam internet ads promising a secret admirer over the realness of life expressing itself a few feet away.

The scene made me think of Madeleine L'Engle, a favorite author of mine who passed away last week. Her book Walking on Water had a huge impact on both my writing and my faith, and all the beautiful ways they intersect. In this book she writes, "But the artist has retained some of the freedom we have lost in the industrial dailiness of our living." There was the contrast: people so caught up in the dailiness of solitaire and cell phones, neglecting the true freedom of life, the ability to remember that there is more. L'Engle also writes in Walking on Water, "In art we are once again able to do all the things we have forgotten; we are able to walk on water; we speak to the angels who call us; we move, unfettered, among the stars." I couldn't help but think how sad it would be to have a fettered heart, to not hear the voices of angels, to not have eyes to see and ears to hear the echoes of the Story God is telling around me.

I needed this epiphany of sorts to motivate me to start reading more, a pasttime that has sadly been neglected since my English major days of taking in a novel-or more-a week and analyzing the crap out of them. I want to rediscover the stories and the poems that have fed me in the past, and rediscover new ones that will compel me on. And I know I want to keep writing. Even if it's only senseless ramblings on a way-too-long blog post, I just need to keep going. It's what allows me to stop and ponder all of the truth that is in the air.

I've had this blog over a year now. My first post was written to welcome baby Cainen into the world. I considered that to be the best birthday possible... until this year. It was so wonderful being able to be at the Knox house on Sunday to celebrate Cainen's first birthday. And ushering in the big 2-5 couldn't have been any sweeter. I was able to spend so much time with Ann and Ben. They are just the dearest friends. They invited my parents and Natalie and I over for dinner on Sunday night to celebrate my birthday. My dad made breaded eggplant (my favorite!), Ann made homemade applesauce, Ben grilled some brats. We all spent the evening laughing at the similarities between Ben and my dad (Ben's biggest fear is becoming my dad by having all daughters and no sons), and laughing at my dad, who always puts on a show when a new audience is around. He is where I get my drama from.

I was able to have a nice dinner with Staci Mae at Olive Garden, visit Mindy and Eric at their new house, catch up with Kristie as she cooked her family some lasagna, and get teary-eyed Sunday morning at church. On Monday, my actual birthday, I was able to have a nice Amana breakfast with my dad, spend a few hours with Aroea and Cainen, and come back to amazing friends in Omaha. I was surprised to open my bedroom door and find 71 balloons all over the place, courtesy of Charlotte and Beth.

Oh... and one more thing... She really is alive, and I have proof:

For the first time in over a year, I was able to spend a few hours with Christina. It's always so refreshing and re-affirming to spend some time with an old friend. Sitting at Panera for those few hours, catching up on all the news in our jobs, our relationships, our struggles, and our faith was simply a blessing. It was good to be reminded of the common ground and all of the amazing things God is doing.

The best moment of the whole weekend was on Sunday afternoon, as Cainen's birthday party was dying down. He was getting fussy, exhausted from the afternoon of paper-ripping and cake-devouring. Aroea handed him to me in the kitchen. I walked him over to the couch, put Snuggly on my chest, and within moments he was fast asleep. So I sat there together with my almost-birthday buddy for quite awhile, closed my eyes, and remembered that life is good.